My goal is... I'd like a career or something

Last night I cleaned my house Cinderella style (minus the singing mice, but I would have enjoyed the company)...I'm talking hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor (b/c I don't have a mop and frankly I don't like mops). But yes, the apt is now as clean as it can be and ready for the out of town guests who will marvel "Why, what a nice apartment you have!" rather than commenting "I think I just stepped in gum".

So I got my first taste of rejection today in my new hobby as a writer. I pretty much wrote two stories then moved on to my next hobby- acting in short film (singular). But back to the rejection- I don't take it so well. I became immediately depressed and am now wondering/obsessing about the fact that I lack talent in pretty much any department. I can't dance, sing, draw, solve complex math equations, write (thanks McSweeney's, thanks for ruining my life!), do stand-up comedy, juggle, run fast, play any instrument (not even the triangle), and many other things that I don't have the time to list write now b/c I'm in the middle of a nervous breakdown. Okay, not really. I'm being dramatic- which reminds me, I can't act either. I make life way too hard on myself. Maybe things would be easier if I just sucked it up, faced facts (I'm completely average), and moved on (i.e. stop whining all the goddamn time). It's frustrating not being able to change the things in your life that are the biggest problem, or at least that you perceive to be the biggest problem. I should be thankful I have a job, (some) money, friends, family, etc. and think about the other people in the world who live in much worse circumstances (no A/C!). But that's just depressing, so I'll complain about the fact that I don't have any natural abilities. Oh well, someday I'll have children through whom I can live vicariously....I'm going to make them the most awesome children ever! Even if they turn out disfunctional later on, at least we can have a few good years making all the other kids look bad.

I'm almost finished with my book and haven't decided what to read next. I just bought The Bell Jar, but in my fragile state, a book about a suicidal girl in her mid 20's probably isn't the best choice.
R.